Beauty of small things

And there we sat, at the beach, for hours, looking at the waves, thinking and sometimes talking—about life and it’s meaning, about our relations, our dreams, our passions, our fears. None of these, by the way, were ‘our’ as I term it. These were individual dreams, passion or takes on life and each of mine being poles apart from her. But you know what the beauty was? It didn’t matter. For we can enjoy each other’s company in absolute silence without feeling alone or share our deepest thoughts, painful experiences, our vulnerabilities and weirdness— all this without the fear of being misunderstood or judged. Now isn’t this what relationships should be made of?

Obliviate

"I wonder, what if someone could obliviate me!"
She sighed as they walked out of the cinema after watching fantastic beasts..
" What magic are u afraid of forgetting, anyway?" he laughed

"You!"
Her answer made him smile his shy smile, the one which was her favorite spell in the world.

Language of Love

She hated him for his language.
Few years later..
Her daughter fell in love, with what his words meant...

For eternity and beyond

My whole world had collapsed into my arms. I died a thousand deaths in that very moment.  I looked at her wounded and bloodstained body and something took over me. No word in any possible language can suffice to describe deep rage flaming within me. I used every ounce of that rage, that pain and dashed out my sword and slit that bloody traitor’s neck. I wanted to inflict so much pain on him. It was my Sati, my life that he had hurt.

“Shiva” her voice filled my ears. I ran to her and picked my life in my arms.

She pulled out the knife from her chest and smiled.

Her smile asking me if that was supposed to hurt.

“We are going to Ayurvati, you will be alright.” I picked her and began running.

“Stop” she managed, “I want to spend my last moments with you and only you.”

“Don’t say that Sati please. Don’t you dare give up, you can’t leave me alone”

“You are never alone Shiva, my love is always going to be with you, I will wait till the end of eternity, but we shall meet again. And you know why?" She smiled a faint smile “ Because our love is not the ‘Till death do us apart’, our love is ‘For eternity and beyond’.”

“Sati” I sobbed

“ Now, will you please kiss me to death”

“No Sati, you are not dying. We will get you treated and then I will kiss you for life ” I couldn’t stop my tears.

“Shiva please, I don’t have much time” she begged, “I want our last moment to be a memory to cherish until we meet again.”

“I love you sooo much Sati” I bent down and kissed her.

I felt the warmth of her breath against mine for one last time.

It’s been 10 years and my breath is still caught in that moment.

Dear Maa

Dear Maa,

I remember the day when you told me, “Be with someone who loves like you do!”  "It is the ultimate secret to a happy married life" you claimed. So I had etched this teaching in my memory. 

For I have always listened to your teachings and that they have helped me through the thick and thin of life. But I am sorry Maa, I don't think this one will and I am writing to apologise, as I wont be able to follow this.

I am aware that you don't think I am with someone who loves like I do. I confess that I dint think that either.Yes. I know I have never said this before but I doubted his love too. I was insecure, even when I made it look like I am not. When my friends thought I was being a fool to not see that he doesn't love me the way I love him. When I was told that he really cares for me; but all wanted to hear instead was that he really loves me.

But today, something changed. For the first time ever, I saw a spark in his eyes, a twinkle of love paired with an eternal wait. It was like his eyes had become a mirror to mine, reflecting the deepest strongest emotions I have felt ever since I saw him.I have always been waiting to see this. 

But as fate would have it. It didn't make me happy. 

Yes, my fate has always had a twisted way of granting wishes Maa. Maybe that is why my biggest wish was granted with a 'but'.

Yes, he loves just the way I do. Giving in everything he has. But. I am not the one he loves. 

I know that I have been denying this for the longest time. You have too. But it is true Maa. All the rumours, everything about her existence that we have been denying is true.

Yesterday, we heard she is back in village. There is wait in his eyes ever since.Wait to get just one glimpse of her. Wait to see her smile again. Wait to make her laugh again. Wait to fight with her. Wait to hug her. He doesn't say it but his eyes are poor liars. 

And the truth of those eyes kills me. I feel jealous, deprived. But then, I can not stop him Maa. How can I? After knowing how it feels. It's like asking him to stop breathing. And we both know its not possible. You cannot unlove someone. If you can control it, its not love. Maybe this is why, he has never asked me to stop loving him. 

But what is this fate maa?

Where his love is all I crave for, but she is the one who has it.
Where being with him might be all that Radha wants, but  he is duty-bounded to be with me.
Where he can't marry the one he loves  & can't love the one he is married to.

But I won't let fate win Maa. It can not hurt me, my love and his love all at the same time. Please forgive me for not keeping my promise but I am leaving my husband before death do us apart. For this is where his happiness lies.

Maybe not everyone can be with someone who loves like they do. But my Kanha will.

                                                                                                 Your beloved daughter,

                                                                                                  Rukmani

Silent Love

A thousand words spoken,
Over a thousand times...

Her beauty was,
She didn't speak with her lips

Her misfortune?
His eyes never listened...

The wait ends

I miss u.. 

I kept staring at my phone after sending the text. There was no response, until next morning when I heard the door bell.

I opened the door and he immediately took me into his arms and hugged me hard.

"Mom is around" I whispered and struggled out of his embrace.

He responded with yet another hug and the secret little kisses on my neck. I glanced towards the kitchen to make sure they were still secret and mom wasn't watching. I was glad that she was busy with her chores and din't notice. She came out in a while and they exchanged greetings and then she went off to finish her chores asking us to go chill in my room. We used to spend days there, watching movies and playing games during high school.

We went in there and lied down on my bed facing each other. This is exactly how we had spent hours, a day before he was leaving. Lying down and looking at each other without a word spoken.

"Your wish of being alone with me is finally fulfilled" he teased.

I gave him a sad smile, that told him how much I have missed him while he was protecting our nation.

" I din't miss you.. Ok"

"Ohh.. Is it? Then why hasn't the wait to see me, left your eyes yet?"

I sighed as an answer.

"Alright.I don't want to see this sadness on your face anymore. And I know that only a good song can get you out of this mood now. Which song?"

"Since you know everything, you should know which song as well, right?"

And as if on cue, he played the song, exactly the one I hoped he would play. He looked into my eyes, consuming me. I looked right back to his, the place where all the love in this world belonged.

He edged his hand near my fingers and brushed his fingers across them, sending shivers down my spine. Its been 8 months and 12 days since I have felt his touch. The best lines of my favourite song started playing. I was loosing myself to the music and the warmth of his gentle touches. When I felt the cold metal sliding on my finger and I looked down to the beautiful ring. 

"Marry me?" he asked

A tear rolled off my eye as an answer.

And this is how I was asked the sweetest question of my life, which promoted us from childhood best friends to life partners.

Pearl in a shell

She was a precious pearl

Enclosed in a hard shell

And without being in there

Of her immense beauty I could tell

As I managed to have a few peeks

Of her bright and beautiful shine

Of her care and warmth

Of her love true and divine

But why was the beauty trapped

I couldn’t really tell

May be it was to protect her shine

So she won’t have to go through hell

Her heart is a warm house

With black tinted windows

For what secrets it hides

No body really knows

You get to open her shell sometimes

With tender love and care

But can never get her out of it

And this is something I despair

Maybe she had once been out

With a hope to shine bright

May be she was shattered and cracked

And the world lost a beautiful sight!

I write

I write.
As infinite words crawl inside me
Born from intense intricate emotions
And I love carving them out on papers
And gift them to the world

Yes writing is selfless power
For it helps you touch lives
Spread love and happiness
Heal their pain & help them survive

I write,and it empowers me
No, not this selfless kind
I talk about an empowerment
A selfish one indeed

Because the real power writing gives me
Is to separate me from my life
So I can watch it from the outside
While living it in real time

It makes me feel like a character
In my own story
And I live her each emotion
Her misery and her glory

I write
For when life brings joys
I say "Damn! This is an interesting story"
And when life brings pain
I say "Damn! This is an interesting story...."

Colours of Love- Jealousy- Radha Krishna

On a beautiful moonlit night, Vrindavan was enchanted in a merry celebration. Kanha, dancing around the bonfire with Gopis added more charm to the night. But there was someone who was not enjoying this.

“I need to talk to you” Kritika held his arm and pulled him out of the garba circle.

“What are you doing, kanha?” she demanded

“Dancing! Cant you see it?” 

“Ohh! So you are just dancing. But can’t you see, your ‘DANCING’ is hurting someone”

“Who am I hurting?If I may know?” 

Kanha half smiled as he glanced at Radha, sitting alone beside a tree for he was fully aware of the answer.

“We both know it Kanha! Look at her face!”

“Radha? Really?” acting surprised he called out to Radha.

“Don’t tell her” 

Kritika’s attempt to stop him failed. He walked towards Radha and sat in front of her

“Radha.. Did my dancing with Gopis hurt you?”

“No kanha, who told you that?”, she glanced at Kritika, who was now standing behind Kanha.

“Kritika. She says you get hurt if I dance with the Gopis” he raised his eyebrow

“Ignore her she makes up stories in her head”

Kanha could not take his eyes off her.He somehow controlled his blush to play along for a little longer. He wanted to cherish the immense love for him in Radha’s eyes which she was failing to hide. Although she tried hard, her scolding eyes towards kritika said it all.

“ Oh Really! You don’t feel bad when he is with the Gopis. But why does your face say otherwise?” Kritika was angry. 

“ Why don’t you tell him now, when he is in front of you? If not, please don’t sob when I take him back to dance with the gopis. And this time, mind you, I will be joining in”

Kanha could not control his smile anymore, specially after seeing how jealous Radha was!

“Radha was right. You assume things Kritika. Lets go back.” he played along.

“No wait” Radha pouted and cued Kritika, who gave her a teasing smile and left them alone

“ Yes. I am hurt” Radha was sulking

“Why?” Krishna smiled a crooked smile

“I don’t like you going close to them”

“ Are you jealous, Radha?”

“Huh No!……..Yes”

“ But why?” Kanha was now grinning

“ You don’t know why?”

“No” he acted

“The whole Vrindavan knows it, but the only one who should know, doesn’t”

“Thats why I want you to tell me” 

“ Do I really need to say it ” 

“Yes” Krishna was not going to give up his chance to hear those magical words

“ I am jealous because…”

“Because?” he raised an eyebrow

“Because I………” she struggled.

“I love you too” Kanha completed her sentence, surprising her and bringing the sweetest smile he had ever seen on her face.

He held her hand and sat besides her taking a backrest at the same tree stem and looking up at the night sky.

A while after cherishing the moment he asked,

“ Aren’t these stars beautiful” 

“ Yes” Her smile not leaving her face

“ Do you think the moon needs to be jealous of ANY of them”

“I know what you want to imply,Kanha” she rolled her eyes, then started to worry“ But what if I am not the moon, what if I am one of the stars?” 

“ Then, the moon needs to be jealous of one of them”

“ You and your charming lines!” Radha grinned

And the whole Vrindavan was now filled by the fragrance of the beautiful love story that just bloomed!

True calling

May be you have just started looking for it 

Or maybe you have been looking for a while 

Its a difficult quest for most of us

First acknowledge this and smile

You may or may not find it

But that shouldn't stop your search

For it has made you a lot of who you are

And will make you what you become

In your quest of that one inspiration

Remember to let the doors open

and absorb it from all directions

From people, places and experiences

But there is a little secret to your journey

The one you must believe to your core

That if you wants to go places

You got to grind a little more

Find the persistence in yourself

Call out the fighter within you

And never give up looking for that destination

Coz thats how you will keep becoming YOU

Walk even if there isn't a definite destination

Its not always necessary to have one

The beauty and adventures lie in the journey

For moving forward is its own kind of fun..

Persevere

Put all the
Exuses out of the window
Right now is the the right time
Start with that to do list NOW, and
Exhaust yourself in the grind
Value your dreams, if you
Every day is an opportunity, so work work work and
Rework if you must; give it your all and win

Every day, every hour, because Perseverance is your super Power

Wish I could explain!

I wish I could explain, using any combination of letters
Or in any language known to humans
Through gestures or signs
But I can't seem to

Though you may make out a part of the story
Through all of these combined
But to feel it completely
You gotta use more than just your mind

To feel the longing of my heart
To know the pain of being apart
Apart from love, Apart from life
Even after waking up everyday to strive...

But all this is not what hurts the most
What hurts is difficult to explain
But maybe, just maybe its having no one
Thats causing most of the pain

No one to look deep into your eyes
The look deep enough to reach the soul
No one to just understand you
Without a single word being told!

Carpe Diem

He worried about tomorrow
Like it was promised

But secretly saw her on the beach
Getting sun kissed..

She would go out in the mornings
To feel the early mist
While he kept putting off desires
To never began with the bucket list

She sailed high in the sky
Took deep dives in the ocean
He wanted to dance in that rain too
But couldn't get over the "someday" notion

She wrote the story
She wanted to share
Poured love to the one
For whom she cared

And this is how,
his someday had arrive
As though, waiting for love so true..
She finally taught him
to "Cease the moment"
And it all started by saying "I do!"

Its never too much

Go love a little more
More than all you have
Just pour your heart out to em
Let the love shower began...

Kiss them, cherish them,
For all you got is this one life
Where you have an immense ocean of love
Then why let some be deprived...

Send texts, voicemails, letters,
Doesn't matter if theres no reply..
Take a flight to another end of the world if you must
Even if its just to say hi!

Chase them, hug them, love them
For love can never be too much
For you may not know,they might be longing
For your letter, smile or touch!

But never ever should you forget
In this loving process
You ought to love yourself too
A lil more than the rest!

I know a girl

I know a girl

Who gave it more than she had

She wept silently on cold nights

Yet rarely was she mad.

She was clothed 

In strength and dignity

Her immense love was the

Secret of the unfading beauty

Yet it was the same love

That tore her apart 

The love that got under her skin

Only to break her heart

Yet she poured her affection fearlessly

For her love knew no tomorrow

She hoped to bring joys to someone

And wiped out every sorrow

She crossed oceans for someone

And gave her fire and earth

Never did she gave it a thought

If it was really worth

And Now,

She is bruised and battered

And might never be healed

All coz she went around wearing 

Her heart on her sleeve, with no shield

But this aint going to stop her

From doing what she does best

Her love will shine endlessly

For the sun never rests

I know a girl 

And I know her quite well
For she strings together a poetry
To share stories she cant tell

Be the wind beneath my wings

Be the wind beneath my wings
Not the chain that clings my feet,
I can sore high in the sky
Let me face the storms and heat.

For I can achieve great heights
And want to make you proud
Yet my wings loose their strength
When you are the one to doubt

I was born to make an Identity
That's more than someones wife
Id love to have that chapter in my story
But why make it the motive of my life?

Yes I can cook and manage the house
But thats not my only job
I was born to fly high
Thats my virtue you can't rob

So why not be my skipping stones
Rather than hindrance in my path
I am your lit light too
So stop believing I am not

Just have a little faith in me
I know the world can be sleazy,
My dreams may be hard to achieve
But who wants things that come easy?

I can put up against the world
But not if you are on that side
If you ain't with me
Its just not worth the fight!

Yes I don't fit in
As I was born to stand out
Just take me as I am
Why make me something I am not

May be thats how most live
but its not my way
and Ill keep fighting for my right
With just this to say

Be the wind beneath my wings
Not my storm but my fire
Lets inspire and support all daughters
And get the pride we aspire!

Losing A Best Friend

Those days have passed,
When things were to last...
When we did belong 
And held each other strong!

We were the same kind of crack,
And always had each others back,
But time is a game changer,
It changed a bff into a stranger..

No bright morning wishes,
No gazing at a stary night
And here we are
Apart yet Alright!

We've bare our souls 
To each other, each day,
Then what is it
that's drifting us away?

May be its the distance
they say its evil
but we are going to beat it 
I hope we will.

I'd never thought ill loose you
but am slowly getting used too,
Still think we can cope
All we need is lil hope!

Hope that things will turn around
Hope that the pain will end
Hope that holding my hand again
You'll forever be my best friend!

Warrior princess

She wears an angry frown
Below her invisible crown
She is witty, she is wise
Holds dreams in her vast eyes

She wears a beautiful smile
It doesn't hint absence of pain
She's fought alot of battles
That's how the strength is gained

She is Fierce and feerless
She is torn yet tearless
She is bruised , she is wound
But yet not consumed..

She hit the bullseye with her dart
She is not someone you can thwart
She is the doll they tried to break
But victory is her piece of cake..

Don't try to be her armor
She is the mightiest of swords
Her sharpness is in her wits
She is the warrior of words..

Dont be decieved by the splendor
She ain't really so tender
It will be love if it ever will
To which she will truly surrender

You make her all alone
She"ll have her own back
You throw her to the wolves
And she'll return leading the pack...

Untold stories

Sometimes it feels cold
With no hand to hold,
With no one to lie besides
And stories untold...

I look at the endless sky
And gaze into the stars
I feel the pain deep inside,
A place you cant see scars

The emptiness stares back,
My heart longs for warmth
I desire u to be by my side
There's nothing more I would want

Two arms to wrap around me
Two eyes to look into
And silence to do the talking
Letting the words be few

To feel your breathe against my skin
To let u soothe my pain
To have you all by myself
In summer, winter and rain

But here I lie hopelessly
With just a book to hold
Still Giving form to thoughts
And not leaving stories untold..